The palest blue sky,
with not even a hint of azure,
blank, vast and empty:
why do i have to see it like this?
a time when i dislike flowers,
squint at their colours, shy away
from people- colourful or otherwise,
when even murmurs
strain my ears and i want to shut
myself out, act like i wasn’t there
and never was.
a time when i see and only see
and who wasn’t and what can’t be.
a time when colours swirl violently
into a blackness and leave me
too drained even to wish it away.
a time when intra-actions
and by far.
a time when outlooks are directed within
enmeshing me, straddling me
into a stillness that is giddy.
i need to learn to dream,
dream a way out
and stay out.