Mine-ing his(s)

it was rush-rush, push-push

and swish-out, start-the-day time

and i was standing right behind her fragrance thyme,

fondly looking at mine, from the hair-brush

working at her fluffy hair-do,

to her savage toe-nails to her irises blue

and then, i saw it, a new emotion

that was meant not for me,

mirrored though it was,

gilt-framed and so very there;

wishing, perhaps, that it was him standing behind her?

did she wish our time away, swept aside

in the tide of her new hymn, him?

i cannot look away, riveted as i am

by this new her and wish i were him,

lord of what used to be mine.

p.s: Wrote this in response to this week’s Trifecta Writing Challenge which requires us to write a 33 to 333 word effort using the word ‘new’ (having the meaning: having been in a relationship or condition but a short time). You can check out all the entries at http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2012/06/trifecta-week-thirty.html

p.p.s: to my great delight, this was among the three winners (3rd but i’m happy to have made the mark 🙂 ) chosen by Trifecta for the week; YAY 🙂

About rashmenon

Hello there! Please look up- https://rashscribbles.wordpress.com/2011/02/27/hello-world/
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17 Responses to Mine-ing his(s)

  1. Annabelle says:

    Poignant. Nicely done.

  2. Christine says:

    I love those first two lines. They really drew me in!

  3. Neetika says:

    I had to read it twice before i could be sure i got it! Love it, i really do 🙂

  4. R.L.W. says:

    Great rhythm! Excellent work.

  5. trifectawriting says:

    Thanks for linking up with Trifecta this week. I really enjoyed this poem. The rhythm is captivating, and I loved what you did with those opening lines. Isn’t that exactly the way the day begins in a house with kids? Nice job with the prompt. Hope to see you back again soon.

  6. Lucy says:

    Oh, I like this. It’s the kind of poem that I want to read over and over again, and with each reading, I decipher more of the meaning. Well done.

  7. It feels like this could be a husband being pushed aside in the rush of an affair, or it could be a child getting lost in Mom’s new romance.

  8. whimsygizmo says:

    This is excellent. The internal rhyme and word-bump in here are wonderful. Congrats on placing at Trifecta this week! 🙂

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