Raining for her

she was squinting into the afternoon sun

-sweaty splotches on peach patches-

the sullen sun sulking along

to a hot-tempered horizon

fussing hours away,

trussing her shadow over burnt sienna,

lumping and bumping her lucid lines.

Lines that i touched- ebony and peach

and flowed in

fleshed-out rivulets

over parched lips;

an upturned face and its raindrop frame

mingling in triumph

over a trying sun

and a (h)umphing horizon

P.S: toughest post ever! agonized over a ‘triumph’ant interpretation for ever so long and finally managed to coax this one out- sweat, toil and tears of rash-me 🙂 Linking to the Trifecta Challenge Week Thirty Three: Round Two (http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2012/06/trifecta-week-thirty-three-round-two.html)

About rashmenon

Hello there! Please look up- https://rashscribbles.wordpress.com/2011/02/27/hello-world/
This entry was posted in beauty, colours, nature, outdoors, poetry, time, trifecta, water, woman and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to Raining for her

  1. rosemary mint says:

    I love that you did this: “(h)umphing” … I feel like it was a special present for me. 😉

    There are so many amazing lines/sounds throughout:
    “sweaty splotches on peach patches”
    “sullen sun sulking”
    “shadow over burnt sienna”
    “raindrop frame”
    “triumph/trying sun”

    And the last line, of course. Excellent work.

    • rashmenon says:

      glad you like it and i owe the last line to you, you know, ace word-splitter that you are.

      • rosemary mint says:

        Sweet daddy, that made me happy. 🙂 I think I have to write something new tomorrow. The winners are usually the sad, sappy ones. But I’m too funny; I don’t stand a chance. 🙂

      • rashmenon says:

        well, considering your track record, you’ll stand a solid chance whatever the mood of your poem be; so, go ahead, write yourself to happiness 🙂

  2. rosemary mint says:

    Spam again? Seriously?!

  3. rosemary mint says:

    Perhaps you will be able to save them this time. 🙂

  4. unevenstevencu says:

    hi I like your use of alliteration and assonance scattered throughout. very evocative poem good one

  5. vivinfrance says:

    I love all the consonance and assonance in this – so much more subtle than hard rhyme.

  6. I can envision this in my head, and it’s just beautiful, especially the rain. Good luck!!!

  7. brenda w says:

    This piece begs to be read aloud. I really enjoyed it. Nicely done.

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